We Have A House Inspection Today.
Tuesday 16 October 2012
I've Been Watching A Lot Of Springer Again Lately...
I Don't Know Why.
When I First Saw The Jerry Springer Show I Thought Gerald Norman Springer Was Satan,...
Because Of His His Snide Comments, Utter Lack Of Concern Over The Guests & ....Because,...
Well,.. It's His Show!.
I Keep Telling Myself That It's A Psychological Character Study Of A Modern Culture Utterly Drunk On Itself.
(But Mostly It's Just About Wanting To See Naked Black Ginger Midgets Hammer The Shit Out Of Each Other.)
I Find It Similar To Junk Food... As Soon As It's Over, I'm Flooded With Guilt And A Curious Hankering For More.
Years Later, As He Wheels Out A Seemingly Endless Supply Of Toothless Trailer-Park Alumni I Become Aware That His Attitude Appears To Be Born Out Of A Hopelessness. His Comments Suddenly Seem To Be Offered From A Person Who Has Given Up On Humanity, And Has Accidentally Forged A Career Dependent Solely Upon The Emotional Shortcomings Of Families Occupying Trailer Parks.
Since Writing The Line Above I Accidentally Came Across A 'Behind The Scenes' Documentary Of The Jerry Springer Show!
I've Always Wondered About Mr Springer's Feelings On His Notoriety, His Show, And His Legacy.
He Seems Like A Smart Man, He Used To Be A Journalist, News Anchor And Former Democratic Mayor Of Cincinnati.
He Can Usually Be Seen In A Suit And Tie, Clutching A Microphone & A Cue Card While Pacing Around, Casually Stirring The Drama By Offering Smarmy Comments, The Audience,...Delighted, Then Erupt Into Chants Of His Name.
So To See Him Alone, In His Office, Not Wearing A Suit, And Puffing On A Cigar, Offering Candid Insights Was Fascinating.
To Me, Mr Springer Seemed Proud Of His Empire, & When Questioned About The Moral Integrity Of His Show, He Counters With 'It's Just A Silly Show, You Don't HAVE To Watch It' - Which Is True, If Not A Tad Callous.
He Did Seem Genuinely Baffled As To His Fame/Notoriety -
(He Also Seemed To Be Delighted About It.)
While I Didn't Get The Feeling He Held Any Malice Toward His Past Guests, He Wasn't Overly Forthcoming With Sympathy Either.
As He Spoke Of The Guests Over The Years I Didn't Get The Feeling I Was Speaking To The 'Ringleader'.
For Whatever Reason I Didn't Feel I Was Speaking With The Brains Of The Operation, Merely The Face.
And Then I Found Out Why.
Even The Most Casual Observer Of The Jerry Springer Show Will Notice A Scruffy Little Man Behind A Sort Of 'Podium' Off To Jerry's Side.
The Purpose Of This Curious Little Fellow Always Eluded Me, Until A Friend Pointed Out It Was The Producer Of The Show.
(Who Is Also Responsible For The Marginally Humourous Sound Effects)
During The Course Of The Documentary I Was To Learn That This Guy (Richard Dominick) Was Something Of A Mastermind.
In The Beginning, The Springer Show Was Just Like Every Other Mundane Talk-Show Until It Was Almost Canceled.
In A Last Ditch Effort To Save The Show He Suggested Featuring 'Normal People' Sharing Their Troubles With Explosive Results.
Eventually They Focused Their Guest-Seeking Efforts To Areas That Featured The Slightly More Gloriously 'Challenged'.
It Was THIS Single Move That Made Them All Incredibly Wealthy And Desensitized An Entire Generation.
When I NOW Watch The Springer Show I Feel Like I Can See The Strings Being Pulled Behind The Puppet Show.
I've Become A Springer Veteran, I Know What It Means When A Guest Removes Their Shoes As Another Guest Takes The Stage.
Like The Man Himself.. At Times I Find Myself Utterly Indifferent To The Violence & Emotional Turmoil Of The Springer Guests.
But Whenever I Start To Feel Bad About Exploiting The Misery Of Others, I Remind Myself That EVERY Guest Knows Who/What The Jerry Springer Show Is,
And They Weren't Forced On To That Stage!
(I Don't Dip My Scrotum In A Piranha Tank For The Same Reason.)
Before, I Took His Silence As Quiet Disapproval, And A Deepening Despair At The Human Condition.
But Now I Can Say With A Great Certainty That His Silence Is Probably Filled With Thoughts Of Cigars, The Next Fat Paycheck, And Lame Comebacks To Get The Audience Chanting His Name Again.
I Really Don't Think Jerry Springer Is A Bad Person, But I'm Fairly Sure He's Going To Hell.
I Don't Know Why.
When I First Saw The Jerry Springer Show I Thought Gerald Norman Springer Was Satan,...
Because Of His His Snide Comments, Utter Lack Of Concern Over The Guests & ....Because,...
Well,.. It's His Show!.
I Keep Telling Myself That It's A Psychological Character Study Of A Modern Culture Utterly Drunk On Itself.
(But Mostly It's Just About Wanting To See Naked Black Ginger Midgets Hammer The Shit Out Of Each Other.)
I Find It Similar To Junk Food... As Soon As It's Over, I'm Flooded With Guilt And A Curious Hankering For More.
Years Later, As He Wheels Out A Seemingly Endless Supply Of Toothless Trailer-Park Alumni I Become Aware That His Attitude Appears To Be Born Out Of A Hopelessness. His Comments Suddenly Seem To Be Offered From A Person Who Has Given Up On Humanity, And Has Accidentally Forged A Career Dependent Solely Upon The Emotional Shortcomings Of Families Occupying Trailer Parks.
Since Writing The Line Above I Accidentally Came Across A 'Behind The Scenes' Documentary Of The Jerry Springer Show!
I've Always Wondered About Mr Springer's Feelings On His Notoriety, His Show, And His Legacy.
He Seems Like A Smart Man, He Used To Be A Journalist, News Anchor And Former Democratic Mayor Of Cincinnati.
He Can Usually Be Seen In A Suit And Tie, Clutching A Microphone & A Cue Card While Pacing Around, Casually Stirring The Drama By Offering Smarmy Comments, The Audience,...Delighted, Then Erupt Into Chants Of His Name.
So To See Him Alone, In His Office, Not Wearing A Suit, And Puffing On A Cigar, Offering Candid Insights Was Fascinating.
To Me, Mr Springer Seemed Proud Of His Empire, & When Questioned About The Moral Integrity Of His Show, He Counters With 'It's Just A Silly Show, You Don't HAVE To Watch It' - Which Is True, If Not A Tad Callous.
He Did Seem Genuinely Baffled As To His Fame/Notoriety -
(He Also Seemed To Be Delighted About It.)
While I Didn't Get The Feeling He Held Any Malice Toward His Past Guests, He Wasn't Overly Forthcoming With Sympathy Either.
As He Spoke Of The Guests Over The Years I Didn't Get The Feeling I Was Speaking To The 'Ringleader'.
For Whatever Reason I Didn't Feel I Was Speaking With The Brains Of The Operation, Merely The Face.
And Then I Found Out Why.
Even The Most Casual Observer Of The Jerry Springer Show Will Notice A Scruffy Little Man Behind A Sort Of 'Podium' Off To Jerry's Side.
The Purpose Of This Curious Little Fellow Always Eluded Me, Until A Friend Pointed Out It Was The Producer Of The Show.
(Who Is Also Responsible For The Marginally Humourous Sound Effects)
During The Course Of The Documentary I Was To Learn That This Guy (Richard Dominick) Was Something Of A Mastermind.
In The Beginning, The Springer Show Was Just Like Every Other Mundane Talk-Show Until It Was Almost Canceled.
In A Last Ditch Effort To Save The Show He Suggested Featuring 'Normal People' Sharing Their Troubles With Explosive Results.
Eventually They Focused Their Guest-Seeking Efforts To Areas That Featured The Slightly More Gloriously 'Challenged'.
It Was THIS Single Move That Made Them All Incredibly Wealthy And Desensitized An Entire Generation.
When I NOW Watch The Springer Show I Feel Like I Can See The Strings Being Pulled Behind The Puppet Show.
I've Become A Springer Veteran, I Know What It Means When A Guest Removes Their Shoes As Another Guest Takes The Stage.
Like The Man Himself.. At Times I Find Myself Utterly Indifferent To The Violence & Emotional Turmoil Of The Springer Guests.
But Whenever I Start To Feel Bad About Exploiting The Misery Of Others, I Remind Myself That EVERY Guest Knows Who/What The Jerry Springer Show Is,
And They Weren't Forced On To That Stage!
(I Don't Dip My Scrotum In A Piranha Tank For The Same Reason.)
Before, I Took His Silence As Quiet Disapproval, And A Deepening Despair At The Human Condition.
But Now I Can Say With A Great Certainty That His Silence Is Probably Filled With Thoughts Of Cigars, The Next Fat Paycheck, And Lame Comebacks To Get The Audience Chanting His Name Again.
I Really Don't Think Jerry Springer Is A Bad Person, But I'm Fairly Sure He's Going To Hell.
Wednesday 10 October 2012
Monday 8 October 2012
Saturday 6 October 2012
Concerts Vs Sport...
I Always Considered Sporting Events To Be A Poor Man's Concert.
If Sport Is SO Interesting & Important, Why Do You Lose Interest In The Game As SOON As It Is Finished?
Do You Watch Entire Re-Runs Of That Rugby Game From 1983? - NO
Do You Watch Entire Concerts From 1983?? - YES -
Therefore Music Is Better Than Sport....
Shut Up. - The End.
There Is A Mind-Numbingly Aggravating Phenomenon Occurring In The World, Even As I Type.
It Involves The Use Of Scissors And The Hair Of Fashionably Challenged Males.
It Is A Particular Style Of Haircut That I Am Physically Unable To Endure.
At First I Found It Hilarious And Applauded The Strong Personality Willing To Wield Such A Ridiculous Coif For The Sake Of Hilarity At Their Own Expense.
Then It Started Popping Up Everywhere And The Hilarity Turned From Confusion To Horror As I Realised These People Were Totally Oblivious To The Fact They Look Like The Result Of A Weasel Having Fucked A Turkey.
Having Given Nothing Of Value To The Musical Fraternity Whatsoever, 'Emo' Music Went Further By Creating A Series Of Hairstyles No-One Had Ever Previously Been Stupid Enough To Wear. - But The Emo Style Of Haircut Isn't Really A 'Haircut',..It's On The WAY To Being A Haircut... & Then The Hairdresser Just,... Kind Of,..Stops
- & Then Charges Twice As Much.
While Growing Your Hair, There Is A Stage Called 'The Hat Stage' Where Your Hair Is Too Short Too Be Long And Too Long To Be Short.
The Resulting Shame Is Then Appropriately Shielded From The Public By Way Of A Hat.
To Think People Are Wilfully Broadcasting This Stage As The Final Result Is Something That Defies Logic And Reasoning.
Not Since The Faux-Hawk Has A Haircut Irritated Me SO Much.
It's 'Long Hair' For The Guy Who Is Scared Of Having Long Hair, And Doesn't Want Credibility Or Respect To Get In The Way Of First Impressions.
If One Of My Friends Got That Haircut, I'd Have To Let Them Go,..It's Just That Simple...
(And THAT Was The Result Of A Serious 'Sit Down' Think I Had.)
For Some People It's Nails Down A Chalk-Board, For Me, It's That Stupid Fucking 'Brushed To The Side Fringe' And Awkward 'Short' Long Hair Look.
The Other Day For Whatever Reason, I Started Watching The New Series Of Australian Big Brother.
The First Guy In The House Was Wearing The Haircut Of Douchedom And I Almost Threw Something At The Screen While Screaming 'WHY!!!!!???'
Ok, I Thought, So That's The Guy I Hate.... Where Are The Rest Of The People?
...Here's Where Things Get Strange...
I Am Now 55 Days/Episodes In, And The Guy With The 'Hair' Is My Favourite Guy In The House.
If He DOESN'T Win Big Brother,... I Might Cry.
Michael Is So Cool, Funny, Smart And Easygoing.
He Diffuses Any Tension, He Hates & Likes The Same People In The House As Me.
We Have The Same Opinion On Most Things.
There Are Times When He Said Things I Had Just Shouted At The Screen Moments Before.
When I Watch Now, I Actually Have To Concentrate To See His Stupid Haircut Because The Person He Is, Is So Excellent.
Sometimes Life Teaches You A Lesson, I Can't Help But Wonder How Many Times My Pre-Conceived Notions About How People Should Look, Act, And Be, Have Directly Severed A Valuable Friendship That Never Survived My Arrogant Initial Appraisal.
If You Have Nothing Going On, Watch Big Brother And Vote For Michael,...
He Survived My Unreasonable Evaluation, He Deserves To Win.
Go MIKEY!!!
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